Self-care is more than a mani/pedi
Do you feel like you keep reading things that say, “Self-care isn’t selfish”? I do. And it took me a while to put that statement into perspective. What comes to mind when you hear the words self-care? Do you think spa day with friends? Do you also think it’s about total self-indulgence that makes you feel guilty because you have homework, work, sports, boyfriends, girlfriends, and a million other things on your plate?
Let’s focus on the bigger picture when it comes to self-care. The first thing to think about that I’d like to address is how you treat yourself. I know this sounds corny, but hear me out. Would you ever talk to your best friend the way that you talk to yourself? Would you berate her for eating an extra cookie, or getting an extra scoop of ice cream? Would you tell her how ugly she is or that she shouldn’t wear a certain outfit because it looks terrible? Would you scream at her for posting a picture on Instagram that you deem unworthy? The answer is no! In fact, it’s a hard no! Why do we do it to ourselves?
Do you have these same conversations? Do you berate yourself for eating an extra cookie? Do you look in the mirror and say ugly things to yourself if you don’t like what you see? Are you hard on yourself from the minute you wake up? Do you grab your cell phone and start the day by letting several strangers and a few friends into your bedroom before you’ve even brushed your teeth? And depending on what you read, are you starting the day happy and giddy, or pissed off and already in a funk? Think about that for just a second? When you keep the phone beside your bed, you go to sleep and wake up letting so many people in your room. You wouldn’t let them in “In real life” so why are you allowing them to share your space online?
Let’s look at the word diet for a second. I’m going to bet that you think about diet in terms of restricted eating. When I think about the word diet –I think about everything that I ingest – from what I eat, to what I see, (read), whom I follow on social media, whom I spend time with – and if there is any “junk” in my diet, I try to get rid of it. You can go on a social media diet, a toxic friend diet, or any type of diet that gets rid of the toxic crap in your life.
A few years ago, I realized that Twitter made me angry every time I got off it. At the time, I used Twitter as a way to get my news and I felt empowered following several different news sources. For a while, it worked for me. But at a certain point, I remember feeling angry, anxious, tense, worked up, pissed off, and every emotion that you can name after I scrolled through my account. For one, I’ve never enjoyed public spats amongst celebs, I find that such a waste of time. I have enough drama, why do I want to be part of someone else’s issues, especially when I don’t even know them? And the news isn’t news anymore. Each side, (the right and the left) tells their narrative and therefore, whomever I’m reading on Twitter, it’s just someone else’s narrative on how they want to position it to me. It’s not really news at that point. One day, I deleted my Twitter account, and voila! I’m not kidding, It was like magic. My social media anxiety went away.
Ladies, WE get to control what we ingest. I know that sounds weird, but knowing that you have the power to get rid of something in your diet that isn’t serving you, is very powerful! I kept my Instagram account, and I love it because I follow mainly inspirational accounts, lots of animal accounts, a few friends, and that’s it. I’ll discuss the Meta algorithms in another post, but I’m sure you’re all smart enough to know that what you are viewing is highly filtered, curated, and fake. Sometimes it’s fun to go down that “non-reality” for a little while, to take your mind off of whatever you don’t want to deal with. The problem is that once you go down that rabbit hole, it can be very hard to stop. And it’s not because you’re lame, it’s because the greatest minds are behind these algorithms and it’s hard for anyone at any age to stop!
Back to self-care for just a moment. Self-care ISN’T selfish, nor is it all indulgence. It can be anything that lifts the mood that you use for coping skills. It can be a few minutes in the sun, reading a book, listening to an inspirational podcast, taking a warm bath, or going for a run. Whatever helps you feel good, and work through emotions, (which are just visitors that come and go) is a form of self-care. I’m here to tell you that I’m all for it!
Let’s do this!
